I use to wonder why some people at some stage in their lives have a need to leave everything and everyone behind and just walk away from their lives.
I always longed for a comfortable, safe and very pretty home. For years I have been creating that home – finding and buying little (and big) “shiny bits and pieces” making unique and stylish home for myself and my loved ones.
As we moved to bigger houses and had more “staff” my feelings of insecurity and pressure to keep it all in tact grew stronger. Over time my treasured possessions started to draw more and more on my resources -time and money. Like they had life on their own and I was there to just serve them. The joy of being surrounded by beautiful thinks started to fade away.
I grew weary of my life –the unresolved relationship problems, unpaid bills and little everyday problems. I didn’t want to waste my life any more on thinking about what I am going to fix for supper or how I am going to pay the cleaning lady next week. Was it a mid life crisis or my consciences was pulling me away from the physical realm towards the spiritual?

As I was not able to ignore my desperation any longer I started to wonder how it would feel to leave everything behind and just walk away. I did not want to take anything with me – none of my beloved staff. I just wanted to start driving or walking until I get to the place and time where a constant nagging voice in my head that tells me that I have to take care of the house, myself and the others will seize to exist.
But deep down I knew that changing the scenery and physically moving away from my life circumstances won’t resolve any thing. If I left behind my old baggage (together with my beloved “staff”) I will soon accumulate a new one. And it will inevitably consume me.

I knew that beyond my desire to have more time for myself was a longing for a stronger connection to Higher Self. The long term preoccupation and involvement with the physical reality robed me of my true identity. I forgot who I was on a Soul level and what the real joy is.

My way out of this predicament began when I set the boundaries beyond which the hustle of every day’s life was not allowed and started to practise a detachment from the beauty and temptations of the physical reality.

Now days I make sure that certain times of my day are sacred so I have a chance to connect to my Higher Self. Every day’s hurdles have no access key to that dimension. I rest, recharge and learn how to be joyful again there.
The resentment towards my commitments and duties here in physical world is fading away now, since I don’t place as much emotional and mental energy into these commitments. I simply detached myself from them. I do what needs to be done to be on the physical level for now, but I don’t create any drama around my life circumstances anymore. And don’t let the others to impose their drama on me either.